I know I already posted today, but who cares?

So, I’m taking this free online course for creative writing:

http://www.suite101.com/course.cfm/16712/lessons

I’m on the first lesson and it got me thinking. I don’t remember a whole lot from growing up. I’m a very absent-minded, forgetful person and I think, possibly, that has something to do with my writing. I picture my mind sort of like a…computer, if you will. If I want to save something new, but there’s no room, I delete something, or forget it, to make room. But just because I delete it, doesn’t mean I totally forgot it, right? Do our minds have a “Recycling Bin” that we can rummage through when we’re looking for something, sort of a like an attic or crawlspace?

My Desktop Background <3

Top Row(Left to Right): Jensen Ackles, Ian Somerhalder, Josh Hutcherson, & Gerard Butler.

Bottom Row(Left to Right): Robert Pattinson, Ben Affleck, Vin Diesel, & Ryan Renolds

Yesterday, before I had to go work, I finished a video game that I had gotten  because it was cheap and I wanted to get a game. It was a bit of a let down, but that’s why I returned it; it was used so I had a week to finish it and I did and got all my money back.

After I finished it, I decided I wanted to read something to pass the time before I had to get ready. I opened the “My Stories” folder and read something labeled “AZS”; it’s the abbreviation of “A Zombie Story”. I had a dream once about a zombie apocalypse and wrote it down. That’s usually how I write my stories, from my dreams. But, I started reading it and I got “the creative spark”. It reminded me why I love writing so much. I fell in love with the story again and had to keep typing. I found the journal I had it originally written it in and did some modifications to where it sounded the way I wanted it; before it sound like it was coming from a teenage girl because I had originally written it when I was 16. Two years later, I hope to finish it once and for all. I want to know what happens. I’ve been told that starting a story without knowing will keep it going on and on and make it hard to tie up all the lose ends. What if I don’t want to? What if I want it to go on and on? And isn’t that what life is? A story we’re writing ourselves without knowing the ending? Why can’t my story (or stories) be the same way?

I’m just sorry I let the spark go; I had to get off to get ready for work. Hopefully I can get it back after this is posted and I attempt to try again.

P.S.: I used to think that music was a great way to help read a story because it can become a “white noise” if your not paying attention. However, that doesn’t seem to work for me anymore so I need a completely quiet home. What better time then after I drop my brother off at his bus stop and my mom at work when I have the entire house to myself? With the exception of my kitty and puppy.

Everyone fantasizes about something; for me, I have romantic fantasies. One of the reasons I want to be a writer is because I love to experience the butterflies of a romantic moment, and since my love life is a bust, I pathetically use writing as a substitute. But because of all my fantasies, it makes experiencing actual love and lust mediocre. (Like I’ll ever be rescued by Jensen Ackles from Gerard Butler.) So, in the mean time, I guess I’ll just have to take a step back before letting my emotions get the better of me: a.k.a. ruin a relationship.

I tried to come up with a good title for this, but I’m having a bit of a creative block right now.

So, I’m stuck in a relationship with a guy who says he can’t and won’t live without me. I wish so badly I wanted to stay in this relationship, but I don’t feel anything for him anymore besides fear and pity. I’m not sure what to do, but I hope it’ll come to me soon. In other news, an old ex decided to start texting me today. Not sure what that’s about, but I’m through with those kind of relationships. And by “those kind of relationships”, I mean long distance relationships.

My past three relationships have been with guys I met over Xbox Live (Sad, isn’t it?). They are a lot of work, and I am too lazy to keep at it. Again, I know that sounds terrible, but I can’t help the way I feel. I need someone I can hold without a plane ticket or a long car ride. That might be hard to avoid though, since I’m not the smoothest talker with the guys.

Is it bad I started looking all around the room when you asked? XP

My favorite inanimate object would have to be…my bed. It’s so comfy and soft, and the one thing at the end of the day that I know will make me smile :)

So this is going to be my first ever blog. I’m not exactly sure what to do really, so all I can do is wing it.

Kayles isn’t my real name, but it’s close; I got the nickname from a friend at work. I’m an aspiring writer with an unusual curiosity for all things and a sarcastic, shy personality. I’m lazy; I enjoy just sitting on the couch and watching marathons of Supernatural or anything not related to the valley girl lifestyle. I drool over Gerard Butler, Jensen Ackles, and Ryan Renolds. I’m a sucker for romance, but then, isn’t any girl?

So, that’s me in paragraph. Read more of my blogs to learn more and I’ll be posting my pics, dreams, thoughts, and, if your lucky, some of my short/unfinished stories. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stare at the yellow sky (I’m not crazy! The sky is actually yellow!).